Ok, so you have managed to get her attention and are involved in a conversation. Now what? Here is where most guys blow it completely without even realizing it.
Recently I was with a friend of mine where he met a girl at a brunch (perfect location because girls are not in bar/club defense mode since they don’t expect to meet guys at that time of the day) and I had to listen what he was talking about with that girl. He is an insurance agent and guess what he was talking about with that girl? Insurances and not only some superficial talk about it but in such a detail that even I would have been bored after only 10 minutes. I couldn’t believe it. He had this girl’s attention – they were in a good location to have a conversation, no competition around and there he was explaining all the details of his job to her on a Sunday morning.
I think is it obvious that no girl wants to hear that. Yes, they may want to know what a guy is doing and it is ok to let her know that you have a job but please spare her of details she cannot relate to.
What Not To Talk About With A Girl
So let me start off by listing what you should NOT talk about with a girl if you want to get her interested in you.
Please keep in mind what you end goal is: You want to hook up with that girl. You want to get her attracted to you, get her to your place – or at least her phone number and a date/time when you can call or meet her. So avoid any BS that does not take you closer to this goal.
Rule #1 is avoid anything that has the potential to create negative thoughts or emotions in her.
Don’t Talk About Work
This should be obvious. People in general (not only girls) are glad when they are off duty and can relax in a bar, club or wherever you meet them so talking about details about her job will probably remind her of stress, unpleasant colleagues and similar stuff.
Talking about details about your job will just leave her bored and the last thing you want to do is bore her.
The only exception here would be if your job could actually get you closer to arouse her, get her naked or in any way get you close to your goal. That would be the case if you happened to be a professional nude photographer or a stage hypnotist. But I guess you are neither of these two:-)
Avoid delicate or negative topics
Avoid talking about religion or politics or any other issued that are related such as abortion, war, death or similar things. Chances are you end up discussing serious things that will get her focused on those ‘hard’ topics and argue with you. Don’t get lost deep down in a serious topics as this will take you far away from where you want to take her.
Don’t Just Talk About You
This is a mistake many guys make. They want to impress a girl and try to tell them what a cool type of guy they are – all the things they have done, how successful they are, how much money they got, you name it. This almost always comes across as blatant advertisement and girls have heard it a thousand times. Instead try to focus the conversation on her – not you.
Except for some cases it is not advisable to talk about ex-boyfriends of her or ex-girlfriends of you. Reminding her of her ex-boyfriend will accomplish one of two things: It get’s get upset and in a bad mood since she will remember how had he has treated her or how stupid she was to ever hook up with this guy, or it will remind her that she still loves him. Both outcomes are no good for you. So keep past relationships out of the conversation.
What You Should Talk About With A Girl
Since your goal is to get her attracted to you and to get her to respond positively to you your goal during the entire conversation must be to give her positive feelings and make her feel good. The next step would be getting her aroused but that topic is covered in another article called Getting Her Aroused by talking to her.
For now your job is to avoid making her feel bad and talk about things that make her feel good.
It is crucial to break the ice and eventually break her resistance. This is done best by using humor and making her laugh. This accomplishes two things:
1. You break the ice and lower her resistance so she will get comfortable with you and allow you to get deeper into a emotional- and eventually sexy – talk.
2. You show her that you are a fun guy who is not taking everything so serious. This alone is a very attractive trait women look for in a man. It demonstrates self-confidence. So instead of bragging about yourself like ‘you know I am an easy-going, confident guy that is fun to hang out with’ you are showing her what type of guy you are. This is 100x better than just saying it.
Use Topics That Create Positive Emotions in Her
Use topics that you are sure will create not just positive thoughts but positive emotions in her. So how can you know what will create positive emotions in her if you don’t know her? It’s simple: Use topics that every single person has positive feelings about. For example I love to talk about vacations. It appears non-sexual, harmless, yet you can get her to feel good by asking her what her favorite vacation spot was.
Whatever she names as her favourite place ask her to image being there right now and how it feels. The purpose of this is to create positive and exciting emotions in her and then associate these with you. Even without advanced patterns such anchoring she will partly associate emotions she feels while talking to you with you – good or bad ones. This is why we do everything to make her feel good while she is talking to us.
If she cannot recall any place or never had the opportunity or money to travel ask her if she could image any place she would love to be right now where this would be and how she feels imagining that place. This is even more powerful than talking about past experiences since she is not limited by reality and can imagine any place in the (such as a Luxury resort in the Caribbean). Whatever she feels you will sort of be with her because she is talking to you.
See how you have a clear advantage of that boring guy that just talks to her about his boring job?
Even if you or her don’t have any past experiences in common you could talk about you can always talk about beautiful places she wants to go or exciting things she wants to do.
Use topics to move the conversation to a sexual level
The vacation topic you can easily use to move the conversation to a slightly sexual level. You could ask her if she has ever been swimming naked or if she hasn’t if she would in that wonderful place she is imagining if she knew that it was 100% save and the water very warm. Even if she won’t go into details in that very moment she will have formed a picture of herself swimming naked and since you are with her she is sharing this intimate moment with you for a fraction of a second which will help her moving you close to intimacy in her own mind.
Another great topic that relates to her emotions is her cloths. I sometimes ask a girl in which cloths she feels pretty – then in which cloths she feels very sexy. If she is describing a skirt for example make her show up to where the skirt is going. Look at her as if she was dressed this way and smile and show her you share this moment with you.
These are just two examples of topics that create positive emotions in her that can later be used to escalate the conversation to a sexual level. There are countless more. When doing so keep it all easy and fun so her guard won’t go up again. You can get away with a lot as long as you do it in a humorous way.