Many guys seem to have a hard time talking to girls. One of the reasons is that they are intimidated and don’t know what to say. Has it ever happened to you that you talked to a girl you liked and you didn’t really know what to say? Then you started to talk about something and what came our of your mouth just sounded ridiculous? Ok, been there done that.
The thing is that many guys do not only have a problem talking to girls but have a communication problem in general. This is why I advise to practice communication wherever you go. Not only with girls but with as many people as you can. This will give you more practice and make you a savvy communicator which will in the end boost your communication skills with girls.
But now back to the main point.
Breaking The Ice
We all know the initial breaking of the ice can be difficult when talking with somebody who is attractive. On top of that, creating a positive impression can be just as tough. Do you want to know how to go through this process with ease? Then you probably should pay attention and get those reading glasses out!
A common question is why is breaking the ice so hard? There are a number of different things that can cause this process to be so difficult. These reasons can include: the fear of being rejected, not being able to understand non-verbal communication, not being mentally prepared, many different forms of anxiety, and just plain worrying.
The bottom line to all these reasons is opening up and making yourself feel vulnerable. Nobody likes to feel vulnerable in any situation. Being vulnerable comes with giving up the power in the situation. Once you approach someone and try to break the ice, the power is in their hands to respond positively or negatively. We all know the phrase “ball is in their court,” and that phrase is a perfect match for this situation.
As we can see, it is easy to see why nobody wants to make that crucial move and step up. Being vulnerable is why women rarely make the first move, and why men are normally shaking in their boots when they have to.
Good news for you is there are different ways to get around this! There is no need to get completely vulnerable. There are ways to get around this, while still making contact with the person your eye is on.
Ways to Break the Ice and Not Make It Awkward
1. One effective way to do this is by simply asking a question. Many introductions go astray because the guy is so focused on being a stud and impressing the girl. Girls will all be used to the typical guy approaching them, but simply going and asking a question could be an eye opener because girls probably won’t be used to that. Asking a question turns the attention on them, and keeps some of the power in your hands.
The question you ask is completely up to you. Try to avoid the typical, “Can I get you something to drink?”, or “Do you come to this place all the time?” Come up with a question that is very unique. Ask them about something they are wearing, or even something out there about walruses. Keep the question light and entertaining, and make the situation about their answer, not you trying to break the ice. However, don’t be a question rattler. Nobody likes playing the game 20 questions to break the ice. That will be much more of a turn off than a turn on.
After they answer your question, make sure to give them some feedback. Don’t just ask them another question, or call it a successful effort and walk away. Listen to what they have to say, and give them a solid response.
2. This is a personal breaking the ice favorite. Just simply ask for a favor. Doing is an easy way of being able to get into someone’s head without having to carry out an awkward conversation. You can easily ask someone to pass a napkin, or to spot you a quarter. Studies have shown that when you ask someone for a quick favor, they actually are more likely to be fonder of you. There is no need to go up to a girl and offer to buy her a drink (she gets that all the time anyway). Just ask her a simple request and see what effect it could have!
3. Lastly, a solid option to breaking the ice is simply saying something. There are plenty of things you could say that could easily warrant a response, but if no response is given it is no sweat of your back. Simply say something like, “This place has the greatest burgers.” If the other person responds positively, then the conversation has officially been kicked off. If they don’t respond, then just simply continue on with your day. There is no sense in getting upset if this doesn’t work because you didn’t make yourself vulnerable, you just simply stated something.
Talking With Confidence
The greatest thing you can do when breaking the ice is showing confidence. The above options are solid because they allow you to stay confident and not put yourself completely out there. There is no need to fear approaching someone, because chances are they are scared nobody is going to approach them, or they are afraid to make the first move anyway. When you are trying to break the ice, there is no need to completely throw yourself at someone. All you need to do is simply make a good impression, and don’t try to overdo it. Be confident, and use these tips to your advantage. Go on out and break that ice!
Using humor is extremely important when talking to anyone including girls. Avoid being overly serious. I am not saying you should try to be funny or be a clown. No – using humor is different. It is not telling jokes – it is communicating in a way that shows you can have fun while not taking everything including yourself too seriously. This will make the girl feel at ease with you. A guy using humor is radiating the impression that he has got things under control. Seriousness on the other end signals insecurity. And girls don’t want to be with a guy that give them the feeling of insecurity. They want to be with a strong guy who can have fun.
You can use sexual humor to spice up your conversation in a sexual manner. Sexual humor does not mean talking about sex. It means finding little ambiguities and exploiting them and making subtle comments that can be interpreted sexually. But still everything with a smile on your face and with a little wink. You can get through with almost anything as long as you wrap it in a humorous way.